The Healing Project:  A path towards wholeness and wellness-- physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually-- through the power of honesty, intention, action and rest.

Acute Fungal Sinusitis.

Acute? I wish it was cute. Even just a little bit. It’s not. It’s ugly, disgusting, painful and exhausting. Since June 2010, I’ve not only been sneezing, coughing and using more tissue daily than most people use in a year... I’ve also had the flu, common colds, sinus infections, allergies, stomach bugs, migraines, body aches. My immune system is working so hard to fight off the mold, that it has nothing left for the stuff I come in contact with on a daily basis, so I’ve caught it all. In spite of my efforts, I'm still temporarily out of order. I have to keep reminding myself that it is, in fact, only temporary.

 I’ve spent so much time focusing on healing- BELIEVING, SPEAKING health into my life, praying and expecting my healing… 

 The truth is I am sick. I am very sick.

Wow, that’s hard to say, and even hard to type! I don’t say this to gain sympathy or generate any reaction from anyone.  In fact, I see this as a journey between no one except me and God… A long walk on a long shoreline, talking through my own physical, mental, emotional dysfunctions, and being led to a better understanding of how to grow from this exact moment.

If there’s one thing I’m absolutely tired of hearing, it’s “healing is a process”. Sadly, the person I’ve heard say it the most is ME! It is true- even if your healing takes 5 seconds, it’s still a process. But SO WHAT?! Is it supposed to make me feel better that I’m a year into this and maybe I’m right where I’m supposed to be? Because it doesn’t make me feel better to leave my healing in the hands of a “process” that I (seemingly) have no control over. So, in a (rare these days) moment of clarity, I realized, “It’s not a process, it’s a project.” A process happens on it’s own. A project requires intention. Intention produces nothing without action.

See, in this tug-of-war I’ve been having with, well, myself… I have been very resistant to give up anything. I already had to stop working because I’ve been averaging about 8 healthy days per month. I was NOT going to move away from Tennessee just because I’m allergic to every tree, grass and musician that grows there (Yeah...I just moved back to California). SURELY I’m not going to limit my conversations with friends that need advice and support from me (I’ve never had so little to give). And I’m definitely NOT going to be the one to expose myself for the whole world to see my stubborn, selfish side (Hi. Nice to meet you.)

 In every other area of my life, I stress honesty. I encourage openness and authenticity. I strive towards compassion and speak about the importance of truth.

Well, hiding the truth isn’t working for me, so I’m coming clean-- and though it feels dirty, I know it's just like cleaning out a closet. It looks worse before it gets better. But it IS getting better. I am getting better.

This is my own personal journey. I am not currently affiliated with any organization, product or religious denomination-- though my progress and insight may stem from such. If I'm trying to "sell" anything through this site, it's TRUTH. My truth. We all have scars-- whether they are emotional, mental, physical or spiritual. My desire is to inspire you to be brutally honest with yourself, and take action towards your own Healing Project.

Click here to view the timeline of my sinusitis journey.